Whole

The big things in life do not happen in a day, or in a minute. They do not just appear, no matter that sometimes it looks like they do. Instead, the life prepares you slowly for them, the life prepares them slowly and gently for you. Every day and every minute.

The big changes, the turning points of no return, the hidden treasures. The victories.

The love.

They almost look like miracles when they finally appear into your reality. But this is just an illusion created by our lack of understanding how the universe works. The big things are not just luck or a happy coincidence. Everything in this life is built to be the way it is.

A divine preparation of your return to your own true essence.

And if you are patient enough, you will see how smart this world is, how everything could make perfect sense.

However, even now when I am sharing this, I must admit – the darkness has never left my side. So many times in my life I have prayed for a bit of magic and for a miracle. For something extraordinary to happen and save me from the trap. For something to make me feel better. For something that is made for me.

But most of all, even in my darkest moments, in my heart I was able to find hope. Naive and childish, believing-in-Santa kind of hope. Hope that somehow seems to be out of this world, and actually, it is.

The thing was and still is, that the dreams do not turn into a reality until we are not ready for them. So, somehow, when I became the person I was meant to be, my life became the life I was dreaming for.

But who I am meant to be?

I wasn’t meant to be stronger, smarter or better then I had been. No one should believe in such a nonsense. You do not have to become more of something in order to be more. You just to be more you. And this you is perfect just the way it is. (*prep yourself about the story of the journey how I become me. It’s a long and a bloody story)

However, all my life I have been living with the feeling that something in my life is missing in order to be complete. Until the day when the biggest thing in my life happened. Until the best day of my life.

 

The best day of my life

was when I decided

to be my best friend,

to listen carefully every word

I have to say.

The best day of my life

happened when I picked myself

as my only and most trusted advisor

to guide and support me on the way.

When I chose myself

for a lover and a soulmate.

When I started to believe

that I am the peak I want to climb,

that I am the book I want to read,

that I am the life I want to live

and I am the cause I want to fight for.

I am the mother, the father,

the sister and the brother,

that I need.

That I am the joy and the pain

the challenge and the reward

on my own.

The best day of my life

was when I finally saw

that

I am whole.IMG_20160731_195620.jpg

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