Over and over the very same questions are screaming in mind. Questions about my own limits and desire of control about what is to come.
From what I know,
from what I have discovered,
from what I have experienced,
there is a set of truths that I am unable to escape from.
The life should be and shall be uncertain.
I love to say that the change is inevitable. The change is the only certain thing we have. Then how do we play and create within something we can not predict? How do we plan? How do we make our choices?
Well, it ain’t easy. It couldn’t be. But exactly this is the point of living. Coming into this limited reality we agree to give up on our power. The power of understanding the universe. I believe the universe is rational and nothing happens by a chance. But if we knew that, how one choice or a situation could serve us as a learning material? If we truly knew in our lives that everything is for the best, how would we try to grow out of the experience?
The uncertainty has magic inside. It expands the field of possibilities in front of us. The uncertainty creates a world together with us. It is easy to play when you know which side of the dice will roll out of your hands.
When we do not know the rules, the only option we are left with is to create our own. To try to define which rules we would like to follow.
And I did so.
I’ve decided to live every day like it is my last one. To focus on here and now. To set myself free. To walk hand in hand with the universe into a journey with no final destination. To believe that there is no past, no future. To stay true to my self.
36 days after dedicating me to me, I know how to create a place that I can call home. And to bring this place inside of me everywhere.
I am free to re-create my rules every single day. But I know how they could serve me the best. And now I can proudly say that I do not obey anything external – no expectations, no limitations or a predefined set of morals. I am free of predictions. I am here and now. And my world is constantly changing, but I’ve learned how to adapt and how to grow within.
Those are my rules of living. Quite new, quite old and dusty. But truly mine. And every time I follow them, I am truly happy. Nothing could hurt or cause pain or even the worst of all – the overthinking.
I am my home.
And my home can hold many other things that also bring me happiness.